


The Song

by EttelwenAilinon



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 12:23:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3381383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EttelwenAilinon/pseuds/EttelwenAilinon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why the Doctor doesn't like touching?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Song

**Author's Note:**

> And yet another Whouffaldi I have already posted on [Tumblr](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/post/108940128086/the-song). Thanks to my beta [river-song1912](http://river-song1912.tumblr.com/)

She watched the streams of water and mud dripping down her body onto the floor. The water was falling on her shoulders and embracing her in perfect warmness, thick steam and the lavender scent of her shampoo. She had made the Doctor go back for it the next morning after their wild run from her flat. For her shampoo and few other things, like her favourite pyjamas and dresses and books. Of course, the TARDIS had various wardrobes and bathrooms and libraries with all she would need, but she liked to have few of her own things and the Doctor wasn’t against going back one more time.

She stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel. The bathroom looked almost ordinary compared to the other disgustingly luxurious bathrooms on the ship, nevertheless she liked it and it looked more gorgeous than any bathroom she had ever been in. The walls were painted white, partially panelled with dark wood planks. In the middle of the room was an enormous bathtub embedded in the floor, looking like a small swimming pool. It was good for relaxation but now she had had to wash away all the dirt from the Egypt-like planet they had been on. It hadn’t been going completely according to plan and they had been hit by a giant sandstorm. So she had used the shower instead, which stood in one corner and was large enough for a big group of people.

When she returned to her room, she dressed in her most comfy home shirt, leggings and fuzzy socks, and went to search for the Doctor.

She was always curious about what he did in his free time when he was not running around the planets. Time Lord or not, he had to rest sometimes. Since Christmas she had found him most often in the console room reading or fiddling with some small metallic machines, so she decided to go there. But he wasn’t there, nor he was in the kitchen drinking coffee with an enormous amount of sugar. He wasn’t at the pool and he wasn’t in the entertaining room. 

When she was out of ideas of where he could be and went through almost all the rooms (he wasn’t even in the chocolate room, where he often visited), she found him in the library in a faraway corner of the TARDIS, however not in the way she would have expected. He was lying curled in front of the burning fireplace, sleeping. He could have looked like an owl, but he was a cat. And he wasn’t the only cat in the room. In fact, the real cat was sitting behind his head with paw possessively on the nape of his neck. When Clara entered the room the cat lazily turned his head to her and then back to the flames, showing no interest at all.

She watched them for a while, leaning against the door frame with a smile playing on her lips. The silence of the room was occasionally interrupted by the crackling of the fire and the Doctor’s breathing.

‘Do you mind if I join you?’ She addressed the cat. She knew he would understand. He was extremely clever, that’s why she had named him William, after Shakespeare. The Doctor had wanted to name him Hildegard, god knows why, but she insisted on this name very firmly and the Doctor had finally agreed (he had had no chance of winning the fight). She expected some sort of gratitude from the cat, since she had saved him, but he gave her merely a time-to-time glance. On the contrary, he had really clung to the Doctor, going wherever he went, and the Doctor seemed not to mind. He had even allowed him to watch him do all the mechanic stuff, which he had never allowed her to do. She wasn’t jealous, no. How could she be jealous of a cat? It was just an animal, although very clever, almost demonically. But it would be nice sometimes to have the attention the cat had, she admitted.

She came and sat next to them on the floor, and moved to face the heat. She hugged her knees close to her, laying her face on them. It was nice, to be here again. Second chances didn’t happen often. 

She moved her gaze down to the Doctor. She had never seen him sleep. He looked so calm and peaceful. The fiery shine was dancing on his face, creating a mesmerizing play of light and shadow. His hair had started to curl more, making small grey ringlets. He would soon need a new cut. She was wondering, if Time Lords had some superpower for cutting their hair, or if he cut it himself or if he just visited some planet of hairdressers. She could do it herself, now, when she was staying with him.

She raised her hand to touch his hair, just to feel it beneath her fingers, and William gave her the cat’s interpretation of a don’t-you-dare look. But she continued her movement anyway. She buried her fingers in his hair. It was soft and fluffy as she had thought it would be. And as she did it he spoke in muffled voice and she immediately withdrew her hand.

‘William, what have I told you about my head?’ 

Will frowned at Clara with a what-I-told-you expression written on his face. She grimaced at him but felt a little bit sorry for him. After all, it was her fault that the Doctor had woken up. 

‘Sorry for that.’ She said and the Doctor startled and sat.

‘Clara, what are you doing here? And why do you have the black and white bear on you. Have you run out of colours?’

‘No, I haven’t. It’s a panda you know, and those are usually black and white. And I was looking for you because I thought we could have some fun. And you were sleeping here like a snoring log with Will almost on your head.’ The cat meowed offendedly.

‘I wasn’t snoring! I would have known. And what were you doing with my hair anyway?’

‘Nothing, just thinking that you’ll need new haircut soon. Unless you want to have your hair falling on your manly shoulders, you rebellious Time Lord.’

He huffed. ‘That rich coming from you. I can hardly see you under the curtain of your hair. It makes you look even shorter than you already are.’

‘You don’t!’ She pointed her tiny finger on him. ‘It’s not so long and I like it!’

‘And I like mine! And…’ He said, suddenly focused on the hands in his lap. ’And yours.’ 

What? She stared at him in confusion. Did he just say that he liked her hair or had she misheard? Why would he say that? He never said things like that to her. Not before… Much had changed since Christmas, she thought.

She covered his hands with hers. ‘I like your hair too, Doctor. This length is quite perfect.’

‘Really?’ He still played with his fingers, he didn’t have courage to look at her. Why had he even said that?

She gave him a reassuring grip. ‘Yeah… every length would be perfect.’ He gave her a shy smile and she suddenly felt an overwhelming warmness and happiness, spreading from the place where their skin touched. She felt almost giddy. But it ended quickly, when the Doctor flinched, trying to get as far away from her as possible, but he forgot about William and squashed his tail. 

That’s it, thought the cat. Nobody paid him any attention and now they wanted to crush him. He stood up, fixed his ginger fur and walked out the library with head and tail proudly up. 

But Clara and the Doctor hardly seemed to pay attention to the angry cat. She grabbed his jumper to stop him. ‘What do you think you are doing? You don’t go anywhere until you tell me.’ She ordered.

‘I’m sorry.’ He said.

‘For what?’

‘I…I can’t control it so much as I used to.’

‘Control…what exactly?’ And then the thought hit her. ‘Did you do that thing? Have you just been in my head?’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘You don’t have to be. Is this why you don’t like touching? You are afraid that you’ll make people feel what you feel?’

‘Yes.’

‘But I don’t mind. It’s fine.’

‘No it’s not, Clara. It’s wrong. It’s not supposed to happen.’ He said like he was defective. Maybe he was, just like anybody. Everybody was somehow.

‘I. Don’t. Mind.’ Said Clara, pointing out each word, bringing her face closer to his.

‘You should. It’s not only about being happy and jolly and cheerful. It’s also about being sad and angry and miserable. I don’t want you to feel any of this.’

‘I still don’t mind.’

‘Clara…’ He tried to argue but she saw the urge to share his feelings with somebody. How long it was since he had done it last time with actual living being? She had seen him talking with the TARDIS, sure, but it couldn’t be the same as with other Time Lords. Or humans, at least. 

‘Will you feel what I feel too?’ She interrupted him, firmly convinced that she persuaded him to do it.

‘Yes. But not everything if you don’t want to. Just imagine a closed door. And although I can’t control my emotions much, I can still close my memories. And I’ll have to. I don’t want to hurt you.’

‘You won’t hurt me.’

‘But I could if I don’t be careful. If something happened it could blow your whole mind.’

‘Never gonna happen. Besides, I’ve never known you to accidentally pass your thoughts or whatever to another living being, except the TARDIS, of course. I know you can control it somehow. It might be hard, but I do believe you.’

‘But…’

‘Shut up, Doctor. I see it in your eyes, you want to do it. And I want you to do it.’

‘’Course, boss.’ He gave up, pushing all his fears aside. It wasn’t easy to argue with this tiny human of his when her eyes were all over her already-so-wide face. He wouldn’t have been bothered if it had been wider, anyway. He knelt before her and she followed.

‘What am I supposed to do?’ Clara asked.

‘Nothing. Just sit there and close your eyes. And shut the doors of what you don’t want me to see.’ She didn’t think about any doors, she didn’t have secrets from him. Not anymore. She wanted him to see all of her. And she was sure he wanted all the same and would show her all of himself he could.

He placed his long fingers to her temples. She shivered under the touch of his cold skin. He didn’t touch her so often, now, in this self and she forgot how cold it was. Yes they had been holding hands and all that, but it had been always in rush and dangerous situation. Not like this. And in those times it was hard to concentrate on such things like what someone’s skin temperature was.

She gasped, both inwardly and loudly, as he drowned her in the endless ocean of pure happiness and joy and love she wasn’t prepared for. The moments of their lives were floating all around and inside her in streams of golden energy. She could see glimpses, just some little moments she couldn’t hold on so long, because everything was so fast. There were the rings of Akhaten, there was the dinosaur and their mad ride on the anti-gravity motorbike and the forest, one Christmas and another. She could see all the little touches they had made, the warm hugs they had shared. And on the corner of her consciousness she felt his hands cupped her face more tightly and his thumbs running across her cheeks.

‘Clara, my Clara.’ He whispered somewhere inside her. Or around her?

‘My Doctor.’ She responded, opened her eyes and looked deeply into his still opened. Now, it was his turn to gasp. The big eyes of hers had baffled him every day but it was more intense this time, when her eyes were accompanying the power of her mind which attacked his own with such a big force his hearts almost stopped. Undoubtedly skipped a beat, or two. He almost couldn’t believe she could be capable of reversing the process. Humans usually weren’t, only the ones with strong personalities. Like Reinette. And now like his Impossible girl. 

He forced himself to focus on her face. He could see a complete understanding of himself in her eyes he hadn’t seen in centuries. They had no secrets now, there was no more lying, no more hiding. Their timelines were merged as one in this moment. 

He looked into her eyes and she looked into his. And as he moved to close the space between them, she moved too, as though they were part of one whole. And maybe they were.

***

She heard the most wonderful song in her mind, like a bird song and piano, all at once. In one moment it was like music from the deepest and furthest and darkest corner of the Universe, and in another it was like a melody she had heard on the radio. It was so old and ancient, yet, in the same time, from the distant future. It was the song of a man, who lived so many lifetimes and saw so many wonders. It was the song of a man, who walked galaxies and saved lives. But it was also the song of man, who killed - if he had wanted to or not. It was the song of man, who suffered great pain and lost so many things she couldn’t imagine. It was the song of a man with whom she had entwined timelines, she was in his past, in his present and also in his future. It was the song of man she wanted to give all her life to.


End file.
